Posts from — November 2009

A significant “reason” for me to join Healing Field started many years.  When I was 12 years old, I went on a special trip to Indonesia for a period of two weeks.  I traveled along with a group called “Choice,” a non-profit organization that travels to various third world countries around the world, to give small villages a “helping hand.”

During this particular trip, we brought medical help and supplied piping to a small village in the middle of Indonesia.  Doing so allowed villagers to get water to their village without having to walk too much of a distance by foot, as they were previously doing.

Even though I had never received any medical training before I left on this trip, the traveling dentist allowed me to work as the “dental assistant,” and the travelling doctors as their “nurse.’  I assisted the group in every way I could.

Ever since this very exciting and meaningful trip, I’ve been very passionate about genuinely helping other people.  I’ve always wanted to go into some form of social work.  One of my goals in life has been to travel to third world countries in order to improve people’s lives whenever and however I can.

The Healing Field is a form of social work.  Healing Field has allowed me to assist many different groups (exchange clubs, rotary clubs, etc.) across our nation to raise funds for various charities by putting up large displays or fields, counting thousands of United States Flags.  Even though I mainly work behind the scenes, knowing that what I’m trying to achieve warms my heart tremendously.

Healing Field, Sturgis, South Dakota.

Over the years, I’ve consulted with different groups in helping them achieve a Healing Field event in their towns and communities, all the way from getting sponsors to putting on a complete ceremony at their special event.

Pentagon 9/11 Healing Field, Washington D.C., Virginia - Photo by Lance Cpl. Bryan Carfrey.

The other week, I received a touching email from a volunteer named Larry.  On one of the Veterans Day Healing Fields he said:

“This is the 3rd Healing Field that I have volunteered for in Cathedral City, CA.  I lost my nephew Jan 04 and it is amazing how much this has helped.  I always think that the stories I have heard could not get any better but they do.”

This year we had 8 fields go up for Veterans Day.  These fields went up all across our great nation, from California in the west to Georgia in the east.

Some of the weather affecting the Gulf of Mexico had speared up into the Atlanta area November 10th, deluging the airport with rain and delaying my flight to Chicago O’Hare 3 hours.  I landed in Chicago and worked my way to Naperville.  Finally, at 12:05 am on Veterans Day I met a gentleman named David Wentz, Committee Chair for the Naperville, Illinois Healing Field of Honor.  David wanted to show me the display of 2,009 U.S. Flags on poles spread out over nearly 3 acres in the quiet of the night.  As I climbed the backside of Rotary Hill I wasn’t prepared for the dramatic array, descending down the hill and filling the riverside park next to their famous Millennium Carillon Tower.  The spectacular view of the flags lit up at night with a misty haze wrapping around the flags was a solemn yet surreal reminder of the sacrifice and service of the men and women of our armed forces.  I knew then that this was going to be a Veterans Day I’d never forget.

Wednesday the 11th was filled with events and ceremonies honoring our Veterans.  Naperville is an amazing example of how dedicated and focused citizens can organize for the community good with events that inspire, educate and beautify.  Naperville is an example of what’s RIGHT with America.  I thank David and all those many wonderful souls who made the Naperville Healing Field of Honor a reality.

On Thursday November 12th I had the honor of attending a Rotary luncheon near the Naperville Field held in honor of the many veterans in their club.  I sat next to the keynote speaker Mr. Jack Amberg, Senior Director of Veterans Programs for the McCormick Foundation in Chicago, Illinois.  I was saddened to learn from Mr. Amberg that more Viet Nam Veterans have committed suicide than there are names on the wall at the Viet Nam War Memorial in D.C.

I sat there with a lump in my throat as big as my heart and listened as he told me of the challenges facing these soldiers coming off of deployment.  I can’t image the pain some of them endure having seen humanity at its worst after having given their best.  Many carry incredible guilt that they were the ones that survived while others see the faces of those they might have killed when the moment of violent duty arrived.

Battlefield Cross Ceremony at Healing Field, Sturgis, South Dakota.

For most of us, the distance from “war’s desolation” to here at home makes it difficult to do anything about the actual attacks, IED’s,  sniper’s, suicide bombers etc. that cause so much destruction of flesh and spirit.  Few of us can do little to comfort the Gold Star Families that have lost their sons, wives, or brothers other than to talk to them and honor them.  While more can be done to assist the families of those deployed, there are increasing resources and programs emerging every day where one can offer time and support to assist in that area.  The mutilated and disabled that live and return home with lost limbs and traumatic brain injury have a long road to recovery; they need our visits and prayers over months and sometimes years.

I ache for all of them, but right now, the suicides haunt me the most.

Viktor Frankl in his 1946 book Man’s Search for Meaning chronicles his experiences as a concentration camp inmate and describes his psychotherapeutic method of finding a reason to live.

In circumstances so deplorable and hopeless that the choice to give up was more a matter of how rather than if, Dr. Frankl observed this, “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

In reading Dr. Frankl’s book I realized that the meaning of life is found in every moment of living and that life never ceases to have meaning, even in suffering and death.  He states, “The inner hold a prisoner has on his spiritual self relies on having a faith in the future and that once a prisoner loses that faith, he is doomed.”

Dr. Frankl concludes that “The meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment.”

In September of 2002, I wanted to help individuals visualize the scope and scale of the loss of life resulting from the terrorist attacks on 9/11.  With help from family, friends, coworkers and our community, we put up over 3,031 flags on September 10th, 2002.  Each U.S flag was 3 ft. by 5 ft. and posted on an 8 ft. flagpole mounted in the grass.  While I had initially expected the flags to be more of a visual tool to help comprehend the magnitude of the loss, it quickly became evident that visitors were spending significant time amongst the flags.  Many wept and would leave only to return with other family members later.

One neighbor, Linda, had been there several times.  Noticing this I asked her why she kept coming back.  Linda said that she had held in her emotions for the entire year since the terrorist attacks and that in walking through the flags, each one representing a life lost that day, she had been able to cry and feel some measure of healing.  Others shared similar experiences as this phenomenon was repeated over and over again.

Since 2002 there have been over 300 of these fields of flags, these “Healing Fields”, remembering, honoring and commemorating and bringing awareness to everything from the terrorist attacks and those killed in the war on terrorism to child abuse, breast cancer, drunk driving and those killed in the attack on Pearl Harbor.  Many fields of flags have been placed to celebrate service and salute the living as well.

Scout assisiting other volunteers in setting up a Healing Field for Patriot Day, Sandy, Utah.

I am a witness to thousands of families and individuals who have walked through the flags.  I have overheard many comments and have seen thousands wipe away tears.

I know PTSD is complex as is the myriad of reasons our veterans take their own lives.  I can’t imagine what a person goes through to get to the point that the pain of living exceeds their perception of the pain of death.

On the one hand I wish I could glimpse into the mind of one who suffers this way so I could be of greater assistance.  On the other hand I thank God I haven’t had such traumatic events that would haunt me that way.

In any case, I honor them for putting themselves in harm’s way and exposing themselves to such horrors for duty sake and for freedoms sake.

I know I am naive in many ways to all this.  I also know there is no way a Healing Field, or thousands of Healing Fields will cure such an epidemic as this, but I am confident some who struggle are touched by them and for that I am grateful.

A friend, John H. Groberg, crafted this eloquent thought:

“There is a connection between Heaven and Earth. Finding that connection makes everything meaningful, Including death. Missing it makes everything meaningless, including life.”

In a beautiful way that I still don’t quite understand, being outdoors among all those flags that symbolize so much, close in spirit to those they served and served with, that connection can be made and hopefully a newfound meaning will lead to a brighter path.  For any person contemplating suicide that may read this, I know there is help, I know you can find meaning if you can find the connection between Heaven and Earth.  I thank every veteran, every marine, soldier, airman and sailor for their service and I pray that you will find specific meaning in your life right now, today!

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I’ve seen some really bad memorial ideas over the last few years.  I’ve also been inspired by some really wonderful memorial ideas.  So what makes the difference?  Is it just me, or are the bad ones really bad for a reason, and likewise, are the really good ones good for a reason?

Today, I’m going to address this question squarely by providing what I use as my ‘template for success’ when it comes to finding the best in memorial ideas, and seeing them manifest into a finished project.  I’m open to comment, so let me know what you like and don’t like about my ‘template’…, here goes.

Civic Center Plaza Public Safety Monument, San Leandro, California.

My template is framed in asking three very defined questions.  These questions help guide the client to reach the best possible outcome of their several memorial ideas.  The questions are simple, yet profound.  I have found over the years that it is the tendency for most people or organizations who have commissioned a memorial or monument, to rush through the most critical part of the entire process, the beginning.  A wise person once said, ‘he who begins with the end in mind will be pleased when he finally arrives there’.

#1 – What is the purpose? Memorials and monuments serve many different purposes.  The key with answering this question is to determine just what the purpose is for your project.  Is the purpose educational, inspirational, motivational, functional or purely aesthetic?  Or is your purpose something else?  I suggest you and your committee spend some quality time discussing this question.

#2 – What emotions do you want to capture? Capturing emotions can be a tricky business.  They are often elusive, fleeting, and just hard to pin down.  But, I promise you, the more time you and your committee spend discussing this question, will be time well spent and will be reflected in the overall reaction to your project for years to come.  So, do the emotions you wish to capture look like any of these; patriotism, pride is a cause, support for a cause, reverence, respect, sorrow for an event, honor for the dead, honor for the living, freedom, liberty, responsibility.

#3 – Who is the audience that will be affected and influenced? Like defining the emotions in question number two, identifying your audience can be a challenge too.  At first take, it may seem to you and your committee that this is not even a worthy question to be discussing.  You may feel that ‘everyone knows who the audience is…’   So, to your audience…, are they middle age adults, single college age students, youth, or perhaps the well seasoned senior citizens?  Are they females or males?  If you determine your audience to be everyone, it will appeal passionately to no one.  You must identify your core audience.

These three questions, and their thoughtful answers, are ones that a professional designer would be sure to consider before proceeding with any monument or memorial project, you should too…

Memorial ideas can be really bad, or really good.  Start with the end in mind, using my template for success, and you will be pleased with the final outcome.

Onward & Upward…